Ummm...

I'm struggling to find something to talk about at the moment.
I had this big ole thing about motivation written out but it was too long and i dnt wanna bore you.

So instead all i wanna say is that i've changed the blog name now cuz i'm no longer in flag
so its now "yonzadon.blogspot.com" spread the word.

Wow...

DESTINY DESTINY BABY!!!!!
it was like GOD was reading my blog
matter fact its a FACT... GOD READS MY BLOG
he is watching out for me.

I just wrote the blog below, talkin bout homegirl not answering her phone

SHE JUST CALLED ME BACK!!!!!
Oooohhh Weeeeeeee
you shoulda seen my face, it lit up. like when a lil kid sees santa for the 1st time
Man i'm sooo happy rite now.
I'm writing this blog while talkin to her, i should prolly be payin attention to her but damn
i'm so happyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

damn ahhhhhhhh SHE CALLED ME BACK ahhhhhhh damn I'M A G! I'M A G!
cant nobody hold me down son

WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

WHY?

I usually dnt post twice in one day but damn i gotta get this off my chest. Like hopefully writing about this clears my mind about it cuz its bothering me like no other rite now.

So let me set it up 4 y'all.
I'm at work rite, chillin doin nothing, i think i just woke up from a nap.
& i get this call and its "her" this girl and were talkin for awhile and i'm like "Yo baby Yo baby Yo, I'm at work rite now mami so let me holla at you later" Well like i didnt say it exactly like that but basically i told her i gots to work. So she goes "Ok papi call me when you get off"

and i told her i get off at midnight. which is late but she was just like just call me anyway. So then i hang up and the whole time at work im like damn should i call, should i not. I was going insane so i asked a few ppl, like the ppl i usually ask advice from cuz they all got different point of views.

NO JOKE! i asked 2guys and 2girls just to get different perspective.
the 2 girls say, well ya call her definently cuz she told you to.
the 2 guys both say, text her first then call her.
Me being a dumbass i was like well shiiiit the girls must kno better cuz their girls.
So i end up calling her rite. and it actually took me awhile. i was just sittin with my phone thinking and thinking like should i do it or not
so i finally decide fuck it ima call her. So i call her
and the whole time the phone is ringing, i'm like "plz dnt answer, plz dnt answer" cuz i'm so
scared now idk wat to say if she answers. and i didnt even wait for the answer maching to get their after 3 rings i hung up.

And so at first i was all relieved and kinda happy about it. But now all i can think of is damn wat if she answered and why didnt she answered. I FEEL SALTY. how she gonna tell me to call then
she dnt answer, is it me? what did i do, damnit i need to learn how to spit game 4realz. I wonder if theres a book or like instructional video.

but ya if you kno wat i did wrong let me kno, cuz this shit is bothering me i cnt sleep, knowing that i have to be the weakest fukin man alive my dad is so ashamed of me.

Saturday

This past saturday nite I had a birthday party at my brother daniels apartment I just wanna thank everyone for coming cuz I had a good ass time and i hope every1 else did too.

i wanna especially thank Danny for letting me have the party at his place. He coulda just said no and we coulda just done something else but he let me have it at his place which was really nice of him so TANKS BROTHER.
Ummm other ppl definently John bringing all that liqour ohhhh shiiit it was sooo good. I got so fucked up I mean like i was dancing and singing and just actin like i usually wouldnt and its all thanks to John.
&&& Mileniiii 4 bringing food for everyone i think she said like 60tacos sooo ya thank you very much.
Nnnn Rozi&Luna i think were the ones that made my cake which was a beatiful bomb ass cake it looked as good as it tasted.

ohhh ya and i got to smoke... so wait so i smoked,drinked,danced,singed,laughed,drank some more and slept thats like a full day. Man you do that everyday and you got like a full life.

But ima chill on the drinking part from now on. Cuz the whole day today i felt like i was gonna die, my body felt like shit. I cant handle hangovers they just depress me, so ya no more drinky for awhile like idk a year or something.
ok maybe not a year but for awhile like atleast a couple wks.

Anyway there were alot of ppl there so i wanna say thanks 2 everyone, cuz man i had a great time and seriously i have thee best friends ebbbberrrr all of them are so kool. Just having them there was great and i think for the most part everyone had a good time. I've truly been blessed to have all these ppl in my life.

BILLS...BILLS... BILLS

Wow i leave phx for 2wks and i come home and realize i got all these bills left to pay.

I got a phone bill in 2days.
I still owe ASU money from last semester
&&& I got an overdraft fee from Chase bank i thot i closed my account with those fools
so 2maro MY FIRST PAY CHECK! in like 3wks and its all gonna be gone b4 I even get to open it.

on a lighter note, i got work all day 2maro, all day saturday, and all day sunday.

i would normally be upset or stressed about such things, but damn youtubing Norah Jones "Dont know why" just puts me in a calm state like smokin some bomb ass weed or listening to somebody talk that hits you real hard and makes sense gets you thinkin like DAMN!

thats where im at rite now like DAMN! i could be all upset and in a bad mood but shiiiiiit
wats the good in that. ima work all weekend but hey thats money in the bank 4me
and i'm still gonna party hardy saturday nite
and so wat that i gots work sunday, football comes on sundays baby
WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!

live by 2 tings
#1. "dnt wrry be happy" No that is not lyrics from a Bob Marley song Danny
#2. this is a quote from ME... "Make zat money... honey"

you live by that and Yooooo i gurantee you your gonna be straight
FO SHO.

BACK 2 PHX... PART DUEX

Ok i've been back in for about 2wks now which is about the same amount of time I was in flag.
So i'm just updating what i've been up too since i got back.

I was really upset about coming back and i still feel dumb, but now i'm starting to feel more and more like i never really left. I mean my bank account doesnt feel that way cuz i'm flat broke, its ok tho cuz ima make zat money... honey. But in terms of like living i guess its back to normal for the most part.

I'm back at working at my old job, i still got the same room in my house(minus a bed/mattress) so ya i'm sleepin on the floor like im some mexican at a drop house but its all good. As far as school goes i decided to take online classes cuz i really cant afford to just sit around with no credits for the semester.

Other than that everything is the same, i still barely get the rights to "My Car" i still sleep ALOT
and i still say and do stupid things and I still hang out with the same africans brothas i've been hangin with for the last few yrs. As much as i've learned from my mistakes i find myself makin new ones but thats all apart of growing up right.

My birthday is coming up and im excited to party hardy and if your reading this HELL YA your
invited just for reading my blog even if i dont know you or if you dont live in AZ.

LIFE IS GOOD.

Back in PHX

So after less than 2wks in flagstaff i'm back in phoenix.
and the more i think about, and i cant stop thinking about, the more i feel like shit.
I talked the talk but when it came to walkin the walk i got nowhere.

As much as i've tried to forget about or turn a new leaf and just start over, the more i just think
like "WOW" i've got to be the biggest idiot in the world. For some reason my failure to succeed in
Flagstaf consumes all of my thoughts. I cant break it, everytime i'm not doing anything I just get
on myself about what a mistake i really made.

My friends have really tried to make me feel better, i'm glad their tryin to help me out and i'm
really happy to see them again but all that proves is I cant do anything on my own. I have no
type of will to suceed or strength to overcome. So while everyone I know is getting thier act
together I'm back here with no type of confidence.

The fact that i'm back in Phx means i absolutely FAILED no matter what my excuse may be,
no matter what the circumstances might have been, I FAILED and that feeling really really sucks.

Idk where to go from here but hopefully its only up.